


Perfect

by FranTheWonderHorse



Category: The X-Files
Genre: Episode: s04e20 Small Potatoes, F/M, Unresolved Sexual Tension, Vignette
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-01-04
Updated: 2006-01-04
Packaged: 2019-04-28 04:08:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,825
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14441109
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FranTheWonderHorse/pseuds/FranTheWonderHorse
Summary: The perfect day began with bad coffee, a partner whoshowed up late, and an almost missed flight.





	Perfect

**Author's Note:**

> Note from alice ttlg, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [Spooky Awards](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Spooky_Awards), and was moved to the AO3 as part of the Open Doors project in 2018. I tried to reach out to all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are the creator and would like to claim this work, please contact me using the e-mail address on [SpookyAwards' collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/spookyawards/profile).

Title: Perfect  
Author: fran58 Rating: G  
Feedback: Puh-lease  
Distribution: Wherever - just let me know. Spoilers: Small Potatoes, very slight  
Disclaimer: Characters owned by Chris Carter, Ten Thirteen Productions and 20th Century Fox. I own a '93 Accord. Summary: The perfect day began with bad coffee, a partner who showed up late, and an almost missed flight. 

Author's Note: Written for the X-OK Valentine's Day Challenge 2005\. Write a fic using a room from the Madonna Inn. Oh, and I had to use these words: avocado, handcuff, toast, Valentine. And maybe evacuation, which I didn't use. So there. http://www.madonnainn.com/ Go take the room tour. It's a must see. All 'other characters' names are related to Valentine's Day. Some will be easy to spot. 

Thanks to addicted2fanfic and probe for beta help and to Pacquin for her comments. All mistakes are my own. :) 

Perfect 

Madonna Inn  
San Luis Obispo, CA  
February 13th 

The perfect day didn't begin with a box of chocolates and breakfast in bed from an ardent lover. 

The perfect day began with an agitated phone call from A.D. Skinner asking for a personal favor, and an unexpected trip to California. 

The perfect day began with bad coffee, a partner who showed up late, and an almost missed flight. 

XxXxXx 

The manager, Claudius, passed a hand over his dark, thinning hair. "It's good of you to come on such short notice. We're trying to keep this as quiet as possible, especially with Valentine's Day tomorrow." 

Scully gave the nervous man a tight smile. "We're happy to help." 

Mulder was sucking his lip, surveying the scene. Scully wondered if the decor of the Madonna Inn's Krazy Dazy room was making his eyes water as much as hers. The too bright pink of the carpet and the repeating daisy pattern of the wallpaper were dizzying. 

The manager was speaking to Mulder. Scully blinked and tried to pay attention. Her handcuff holder was digging into her side uncomfortably. "... and we're always happy to have Mr. Skinner here. We're lucky that he could help us out in our current situation." Claudius lowered his voice. "Mrs. Eros thinks there might be something in the room that's harming the customers. I'm not supposed to rent this one to anyone until you have a chance to figure out what's going on." 

Scully thought perhaps that the room's bright red trim contrasting with the vivid pink carpet alone might be causing some customers to go into cardiac arrest. 

"Does Mr. Skinner visit here often?" Mulder asked. Scully tried not to notice the way the liquid light from the window played over his face. 

The manager fairly twittered. "He's been coming for years. He and Mr. Eros were in the service together, from what I gather. Since Mr. Eros' unfortunate demise several years ago, Mr. Skinner has been... gracious enough to make the trip four or five times a year. Mrs. Eros is grateful for his support. We always put him in the Pioneer America room. All our rooms have a unique design and name designation." He paused and then gushed. "The Pioneer America is one of our more masculine rooms." 

Mulder grimaced and glanced at Scully. "Mr. and Mrs. Eros own the inn?" 

Claudius nodded. "Owned, in Mr. Eros' case." 

Scully turned again to the room. "And this is the third body you've found in this room?" 

"Since December, yes," said Claudius sadly. "Mrs. Juno, the last one, was a loyal customer of ours." 

"And the police don't suspect anything? Were autopsies done on any of the deceased?" Scully asked. 

Mulder spoke up. "The A.D. said that the Juno's gave permission for you to autopsy the body." He looked carefully at the wallpaper. "In fact, you're scheduled for one o'clock." 

"Mulder. When were you going to tell me this?" Left in the dark again. 

"I just did," he said innocently. 

Scully scowled. "It would be nice if you could give me information as you receive it. Not when you feel that it causes the most dramatic impact." 

Mulder just cocked a half-grin at her. Scully tried not to notice how it made her heart lurch. 

"What about the other two bodies? Autopsies?" She asked. 

Mulder nodded. "On the second. Nothing unusual came up." 

"Okay," Scully glanced pointedly at her watch. "In the essence of time, maybe you can get a copy of that report while I'm doing Mrs. Juno." 

XxXxXx 

The diener was just positioning the body block under Mrs. Juno when Scully arrived. Scully nodded to the young man and checked the body's wristband ID. 

"Sure you won't be needing any help?" the diener asked. 

Scully glanced up. "I'm sure. Thanks." 

"Okay then. Body's been weighed. It's on the tablet." He nodded to the notepad that rested on a portable stand near the autopsy table. 

Scully reached for a large scalpel when the door opened behind her. Startled, she turned quickly. 

Mulder. She relaxed and turned back to the body. 

"Hey ho, boys and girls, what's happening?" 

"I'm just about to start the Y incision. Did you get a copy of that autopsy report?" Scully positioned the scalpel and pressed it into the dead flesh. 

"Of course." Mulder boosted himself up onto the second autopsy table. 

"I don't think you're supposed to be up there." 

Mulder grinned. "Don't tell mom, okay?" 

"You're in good spirits." 

"Must be the sunny, sunny California weather." 

"Mulder, it's raining." 

"Pick, pick, pick." 

Under her face shield, Scully smiled. "What did the report say?" 

"Well, I'm not a doctor, but the general upshot was that he died of liver failure brought on by an overdose of acetaminophen." 

Scully groaned. "What about the first one? Any news on that front?" 

Mulder smiled. "The doctor who pronounced Mr. Lupercalia dead thought it was heart failure. Lupercalia was almost 90 and there were signs of what the doctor called 'strenuous activity' on the night proceeding his death." 

"I see." 

"And speaking of strenuous activity... what do you think of Skinner's proclivity for consoling grieving widows?" 

Scully peeled the skin and soft tissue away from the body. "I have no thoughts whatsoever." 

"I bet you do," he wriggled his eyebrows up and down. 

"Well, maybe one or two. But it really isn't any of my business." Scully reached for the bone cutter. "Or yours." 

"Buzz kill." Mulder shifted his weight on the autopsy table. "Hey, if you were an animal, which would you be?" 

Scully looked up at him. "Don't you have something to do or somewhere to be?" 

Mulder pursed his lips. "Not really. I went over the police reports. All looks good. The Krazy Dazy room has been cleaned within an inch of its life. There isn't much point in trying to glean anything from it now. We've talked to the manager..." 

"Is this animal question like that 'if you could be anybody, who would it be' question? Because if it is, you can't tell me my answers are stupid." 

"No, no way. This is totally and completely unlike that other game," Mulder said. 

Mulder waited while Scully pulled on the chest plate. "That part is so gross." 

"You think this is gross? Have you smelled your gym bag lately?" 

"You're a stitch, doc. But you haven't answered my animal question." 

Scully blew out a breath. "Well, I know what animal _you_ would be." 

"Okay, I'll take what I can get. Shoot." 

She looked up sharply. "No criticism, right?" Mulder nodded. Scully looked down. "A red fox." 

Mulder groaned. 

"Hear me out. A fox because you're quick. The pack may be close at your heels, but you're always a step ahead. You also tend to be somewhat of a loner. I don't really see you stealing chickens out of a coop, though." Scully paused. "Me. I guess I'm more like a bloodhound." 

"Because you drool a lot?" 

Scully bent over the body. "Because I'm diligent and methodical. Hair color notwithstanding, I'm not a flash of red leaving everyone in the dust. I'm persistent. That's all. It's how I get things done." 

Mulder was quiet for a moment. "Persistent -- that's all? That doesn't sound like someone who was at the top of her class at Quantico." 

"Never mind, Mulder. Put it down to the rain and the tomb-like atmosphere." Scully was suddenly drained. "I've got a lot to do here. I'll call you when I've got some information." 

Mulder pushed himself off the autopsy table. "Okay. Claudius has a membership at a health club nearby. He said he could get me a guest pass. Maybe I'll go for a swim." 

Scully stared at the body in front of her. She tried not to think about Mulder in his swimsuit. 

XxXxXx 

"So, nothing?" 

"Not nothing, Mulder. She had a stroke." 

"That's all?" 

"Well, her last meal consisted of avocado and toast," said Scully. 

There was a pause on the other end of the line. "You can tell she had _toast_?" 

Scully cradled the phone on her shoulder. "Not really. Call it poetic license, or an educated guess based on the fact that she died right after eating breakfast in the inn's dining room." 

Mulder sighed over the phone. "It just seems so wrong." 

"I did my best, but there is no evidence of foul play. I think that these deaths are just what they seem." 

"You know how I hate coincidences, Scully." His petulance made her smile. 

"I know, Mulder, I know." 

XxXxXx 

The card was waiting at the front desk of the Madonna Inn. 

Scully rubbed her tired eyes. Her stomach rumbled. She slipped the homemade card printed on heavy stock out of its envelope. 

There was a cartoonish drawing of a fox sitting on the branch of a tree. Issuing from its mouth was a speech balloon that said 'I'm going out on a limb'. 

Scully flipped the card open. 

'Roses are red,  
not striped like a bee.  
It seems to me,  
this fox has been tree'd.' 

Mulder's script appeared below the poem. 'Feel like a bit of hunting tonight?' A key card was affixed below the handwriting. Scully squinted at the room designation. The Fox and the Hound. 

She tried not to let giddiness overwhelm her. 

XxXxXx 

The perfect day didn't end with a bouquet of flowers, dinner and dancing. 

The perfect day ended with tired feet and an aching back. 

The perfect day ended with dinner eaten in, a six-pack of Rolling Rock, and a partner who rubbed her sore shoulders. 

The perfect day ended with the promise of new beginnings. 

End. Thanks for reading!  
More fic: http://www.fran58.net/authorspgs/wonderhorse/stories.htm

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Title: **Perfect**  
Author: fran58  
Details: 10k  ·  G  ·  Standalone  ·  01/04/06  ·   Email/Website     
Gossamer Category(Keywords): Vignette   [UST]    
Characters: Scully/Mulder    
Pairings: Mulder/Scully  
SPOILERS: Small Potatoes, very slight  
SUMMARY: The perfect day began with bad coffee, a partner who  
showed up late, and an almost missed flight. 


End file.
